No More Mr. Fat Guy!

If you’re like me, and The Secret is too New Agey for you, but you’re still looking for a better way to make your goals and desires come to fruition, check out the new Simpleology book which has just been released. If you buy it through that link, you’ll help out my friend Deb who helps me with this site. Plus, you’ll get all kinds of free stuff. Supposedly the free stuff would cost over $6000 to buy separately. I’d take that with a grain shaker of salt, but I’m sure there’s lots of good stuff there. And it’s only $16 if you order it from Amazon. If you’re into that kind of thing, have a look.

I’m back home, but really busy with writing, so not much time to blog.

I’m still at my friend’s house, but I should be home sometime Tuesday. I’m on a terrible sleep schedule-going to be around 10am and getting up around 5pm. I’ve really got to figure out how to get back to the standard circadian rhythms and be a normal human being again.

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Including a lot of “comedians”. Trouble is, almost everyone is convinced that he or she’s hilarious. Yesterday, someone from National Lampoon’s website left a link in my comments promoting a short video they made about two fat guys pigging out and (allegedly) cracking wise at a mall food court. Their motto is Live Fat, Die Young, and Leave a Large Looking Corpse. But there’s nothing funny about the video. It’s just two fat slobs pigging out. Me and Heath could’ve made a funnier video than that.

This is the same National Lampoon that gave us Vacation and Animal House? How sad. Of course, they haven’t done much since then - check out any of the other Vacation movies for proof, especially Vegas Vacation. And Vegas Vacation looks like Oscar material compared to what they’re putting out lately. But if you ever get a chance to pick up some issues of National Lampoon magazine from the early to mid 1970s, you’ll see what humor and comedy are all about. There’s never been anything like it since, and there never will be. National Lampoon died when Doug Kenney and Henry Beard and Michael O’Donoghue left the magazine back in the 70s. Movie comedy pretty much died when Kenney fell or jumped off that cliff so many years ago. And seeing what’s put out these days in the name of National Lampoon is just sad. Do me a favor, Phil Haney, and don’t leave any more links to your site in my comments. Thanks.

There’s also a contest going on at Project Breakout. They’re inviting people to submit funny homemade videos in order to “anoint the next comedy star”. Yeah, well, let me know how that works out for ya. Because after browsing some of the submissions, I’m not all that hopeful about the prospects of a new comedy star emerging from this fiasco, unless by “star” they mean “black hole”. One girl does a rap about Turbo Tax software. Ooh, somebody pinch me. There’s another one where a guy is pretending to host a TV show. He introduces his next guest, Meryl Streep. He then looks at Streep and discovers that’s it’s not her, but just some guy. He then begins screaming over and over. For a minute there, I almost thought I’d died and gone to comedy heaven.

Then you’ve got your pros, like Carlos Mencia. Of course, he’s not funny either, but he doesn’t have to be. He just steals everyone else’s material. He tries to deny it, but there’s no denying this blatant ripoff of Bill Cosby. And his real name isn’t Carlos Mencia, it’s Ned Holness. Now, that’s funny. Just watch the videos at that link.

I realize this post has nothing to do with losing 100 pounds. Whaddya gonna do - call the Better Weight Loss Bureau? Oh yeah? Well, be sure and tell ‘em Fatty sent ya. I might get a commission!

When I was a kid the idea of a pop machine at school was unthinkable.  Now, they’re in  schools everywhere, and kids are getting fatter and fatter, and they’re becoming hooked on these drinks for life.  But it’s not just the kids who are hooked on soda pop.  It’s the schools themselves.  Many of them made deals with the devil-taking large sums of money from Coke and Pepsi to allow the placement of the machines.  In many school districts, the money has been a windfall, and now, as pressure mounts to remove soda pop machines from schools, they’re finding that their hands are tied.  Many of them signed long term contracts, and if they remove the machines they’ll have to return hundreds of thousands of dollars to Coke, Pepsi, or one of the smaller companies.

Less than a year after the nation’s largest beverage companies pledged to remove high-calorie drinks and limit sugary beverages in all schools, districts across the country are finding that they may not be able to afford the switch because of contracts they signed several years ago with bottlers for the companies.

When Portland, Ore., recently wanted to remove diet soda and sports drinks from high school vending machines and cafeterias, school officials found that they would have to pay the local Coca-Cola bottling company $600,000 to do so. In Racine, Wis., officials decided not to remove high-calorie drinks from high schools earlier this year after they learned they would have to pay the local Pepsi bottler $200,000.

A majority of schools have exclusive marketing agreements with bottling companies — almost 75 percent of high schools, 65 percent of middle schools, and 30 percent of elementary schools.

Why take diet pills when you can enjoy AYDS?

Anyone remember these commercials for the chocolate flavored appetite suppressant candy?

Amazon sells candy cigarettes?  I thought those died out years ago.  And they’re only four bucks for a case of 24 packs?  Somebody’s gonna burn in hell.  They got bubble gum cigarettes, too.  I wonder if they sell Kiddie Crack Pipes?

Only about a third of Americans eat at least two servings of fruits and three servings of vegetables a day.

And two thirds of Americans are overweight, obese, or morbidly obese.

Gosh, what a strange coincidence!

Why cut back on portions, eat healthier foods, and get more exercise to reclaim your health? Because that’s the only way to lose weight and get in shape. But scientists continue the search for a magic Frankenfood that will taste great, fill you up, and not make you fat. It’s big business for one company in Holland right now. But I say it can’t be done. That’s not how life works, or nature works. Nature already provides us with foods that fill us up without a lot of calories. They’re called fruits and vegetables, and they contain fiber. But we prefer other, tastier foods.

If something is invented that “works”, I can’t imagine how eating it could be healthy, since to have any effect it would have to interfere with or shut down the body’s natural processes. Wasn’t diet pop supposed to make us all skinnier? And yet some studies show that people who drink diet pop are fatter than those who don’t. If you’ve ever seen the Albert Brooks movie Defending Your Life, you remember that in Heaven, everyone could gorge on their favorites foods all day long and never put on any weight. I doubt very much if Heaven’s going to be like that, and I’m 100% convinced that life on Earth will never be like that, no matter how many billions companies put into research and development. We’re fat because we eat too much, we eat the wrong stuff, and we don’t get out and move our bodies. That’s the reality, and no Frankenfood is ever going to “fix” reality.

A new joint US/UK study finds that increasing kids’ physical activity by as little as 15 minutes a day can cut a kid’s odds of getting fat in half.  Healthy food choices and portion control are big factors, too, but it’s obvious that lack of exercise is a big part of why our kids are getting so fat.  I don’t know about you, but I was required to take a phys ed class every day up until 9th grade.  From what I understand, nowadays many, if not most, elementary and middle schools don’t even offer phys ed, let alone require it.

Researchers in England gave fat kids a supplement containing omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids, and encouraged them to modify their diets. They didn’t have much success getting the kids to eat better, and they didn’t lose any weight, but they made three years progress in concentration, reading, memory, and mental agility in only three months, according to this article.

And here’s an article that says that a lot of omega-3 acids are poor quality, and not worth taking, and how to tell if yours are any good.  You should take a pin and drain the contents of the capsule onto a solid (not paper) plate, and then put it in the freezer for around five hours.  If it’s frozen or slushy, it’s probably poor quality oil.  It should either evaporate or stay liquid.

I’m still right around 275.  I’ll be heading back to my house in a day or two, and I hope to keep up the momentum I’ve built up in the past few days.  I’m going to try to ride my bike for at least half an hour a day, and possibly walk half an hour a day with my Exerstriders, and lay off the sweet tea, substituting water instead.  I’m feeling really good about my progress, although I’d hoped it would be faster.  But almost 30 pounds since December 22 is nothing to sneeze at.  My weight has fluctuated for the past several years between 285 and 303, and now that I’m down to 275 I feel like I’ve broken through an important psychological and physiological barrier.  My next milestone will be to look down and see a weight below 270, even if only 269.9 pounds.  Also, since I’m not quite as big as I was, and exercise isn’t quite as uncomfortable, I’m going to try to work some things besides cardio in.  I’m sure you’ve all seen the informercials with Chuck Norris for the Total Gym.  My friend John has something like that, and I may start using it a little each day.  I also want to work on pushups and situps.  Not sure how many I can do of either, but it won’t be very many.

Well, the big contest is over.  Alabama state health officials, alarmed that Alabama is ranked the second fattest state in America, after Mississippi, created the Scale Back Alabama program to encourage citizens to lose weight and get in shape.  Almost 20,000 people took up the official challenge, which just ended.  (I actually live in Tennessee, so I couldn’t take part, even though I spend a lot of time in Huntsville.)  Steve Doyle, the reporter for The Huntsville Times who wrote about me, wrote an article about some people in Huntsville who had some success.  And here’s an article from Scottsboro about the final weigh in.  The winner will be announced in early April.

First, the bad news. I bought a pack of cigarettes last night. Smoked several of them, and the rest are still in the truck.

Now the good news. I went back over to my house for a cookout last night. John has a bunch of relatives in, so I’m staying with a friend to make room for them, and last night they decided to grill hamburgers so my friend Deb and I headed over there about 5. Now, I did have some Dr. Pepper, but not a whole lot, and some chocolate fudge brownie ice cream, also in moderation. By the way, if you like your cookies and cream ice cream to contain whole, uncrushed Oreos, go with the Wal-Mart brand. They had a half gallon of it last night, and they found three whole cookies in the container. I’d never seen that before.

Anyway, one of John’s relatives is into biking, and he brought along his nice Raleigh road bike. My bicycle has been sitting in the garage disassembled since I moved here a couple years ago. I never put it back together after moving because I wasn’t able to ride it due to the numbness problem. But I thought it might be nice to give it a whirl since I’ve lost some weight and see if anything’s changed. John and his brother in law were nice enough to put it together for me (I’m not mechanical at all), and I took it out for a spin. Actually a couple spins, about 25 minutes each time. And, while it wasn’t the most comfortable experience due to my weight, I didn’t suffer from any numbness. Which is really good news. I’ve had to cut back on walking due to my plantar fasciitis, and I thought I couldn’t ride a bike. But I was able to ride last night. So if I can ride for a half hour to 45 minutes a day, and maybe walk for 15-30, I think my heels might be able to handle that, and I can continue to exercise, while also eating better.

Riding was tough, though. I haven’t done it in years, and I’m still way overweight, and I probably need to adjust the seat height for a proper fit. I couldn’t even make it up a small hill without getting off and walking. And then last night in bed my legs were sore (in a good way) that wasn’t the same kind of sore I get from walking. So I’m using different muscles. And I only averaged about 8 miles an hour according to my wireless cyclometer. But it’s a start, and there’s no where to go but up. Look out Lance Armstrong!

Oh yeah - the scale says 275 this morning/afternoon!

A carton of Marlboro Light 100s, a case of Pepsi, or at this point Mountain Dew, a bottle of No-Doz, and about three of those 1 pound Hershey Bars. And I want Christmas to be tonight.

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I’m spending a week or so with some friends, as of yesterday.  I was busy traveling and settling in, so I didn’t post for a day or so.  I’m at about 280 right now.  It’s headed the wrong way, which I knew it would when I quit walking.  Most of my weight loss has come from two things-walking, and quitting soda pop.  And lately I’ve replaced a lot of the sugar and calories I was getting from Pepsi with iced tea.  I’ve been drinking two or three quarts of that a day, for a total of 500-750 calories a day just from sugar.  Not quite as much as I was getting from 6-7 Pepsi’s a day, but still plenty.  Still smoking, too.  I really need to do something about the sugar, caffeine and nicotine intake.

So, since yesterday, I’ve been nicotine free–no cigarettes, no gum, no patches.  It’s easier when I’m around other people to go without.  I’ve also been without tea, except for one glass to prevent getting a headache from caffeine withdrawal.    And my body is certainly noticing the difference.  It’s bad enough when I cut out either caffeine or nicotine.  But doing both at once is double the fun.  On top of the cigarette and and sugar cravings, I can hardly function due to lack of energy.  It’s very strange-I sit here trying to read, and not only am I overcome by the desire to lay down, I also can’t stop yawning or nodding off.  But when I give in and lay down, I can’t sleep, even though I can’t stop yawning.  So I try to read in bed, and keep nodding off and yawning uncontrollably.  It’s very strange.  I’ve been through it before, and it lasts a couple days.   I knew what to expect, and so did the friends I’m staying with, so I just brought a bunch of books and I’m either in the reading chair or in bed for the most part.   And I do somehow manage to make a little progress in different books.  It would be really great if I could kick all three–caffeine, nicotine, and sweet drinks–for good.  But I’m not going to worry about that right now.  I’m just going to try to drift off to a good night’s sleep by listening to George Noory.

I’ve discovered the real secret to happiness-having an invisible 6 foot rabbit as your best friend.

Then keep them away from the television.  The more they watch, the fatter they tend to be.  And childhood development experts say kids shouldn’t watch any TV until they’re at least 2 years old.

Childhood obesity is a growing epidemic all over America, but in minority neighborhoods in Chicago it’s becoming an outright crisis:

But two out of every three children in Chicago’s minority neighborhoods are overweight or obese - a number that far surpasses already disturbing national averages, according to a 2004 study by the Sinai Urban Health Institute.

A researcher in England is claiming that increased activity has no effect on overweight kids.

Professor Wilkin said children’s activity levels had no bearing on their body mass index - their risk of obesity.

I don’t know if they didn’t monitor food intake levels, or what, but that’s impossible.  If food intake stays the same, and physical exertion increases, excess weight comes off.  It has to.

If you haven’t heard about The Secret, either the book or the DVD, you must be the last person in America to be finding out about it. It’s this year’s publishing phenom. It’s all about making your dreams come true through what the book calls The Law of Attraction. Bookstores can’t keep it stocked, and the publisher just ordered a new printing of 2 million more copies. Oprah devoted not one, but two separate shows to the The Secret. Clearly, it’s struck a nerve in people interested in personal development and achieving goals such as weight loss and making more money. I’m pretty skeptical about the concept, myself. And the original star of the movie, Esther Hicks, says she learned about the Law of Attraction by channeling the voices of disembodied spirits from outer space. But others claim that there’s nothing weird or strange about it and they didn’t get it from supernatural space aliens in their head, but by rediscovering ancient principles. I have a friend who I love dearly who loves the DVD–she’s watched it five times, and she told me it brings tears to her eyes every time she views it again. I have a lot of respect for her opinion. And Lord knows I need all the help I can get when it comes to achieving goals. Anyway, here’s a skeptical review of it in case you’re interested. You’ll need to scroll down a little to find the review. And, if you’d like, you can watch the movie here for free (it’s opening scenes are very obviously intended to be reminiscent of the ads for The Da Vinci Code movie) and save yourself $35. And you can find positive reviews of it on Amazon and all over the internet. Has anyone watched or read The Secret? If so, feel free to share your thoughts.

Dr. David Goldstein, a pediatric endocrinologist, has written a series of blog posts about the growing epidemic of these related conditions. You can read it here. Scroll to the bottom for Part 1

A couple people left some greatly informative comments on my Heel Spurs post. I’ve been reading up on it, and I’m learning some exercises and stretches that may help. But for now it sounds like the best thing to do is stay off my feet, and not take my two hour walks for a while.

I’d ride my bicycle, but I’m too fat to do that, too. Because of my weight, when I ride a bike I get severe numbness in my, uh, you know what. Many urologists say that that’s a danger sign, and you shouldn’t continue to ride or you’re risking permanent impotence. Others say the danger is overblown. But they all agree that if you experience numbness from your bike seat you should stop riding for awhile. And even if they didn’t recommend that, I’d still do it, because it’s a very unpleasant experience, no matter if there are long term health risks or not.

A couple years ago, when I last decided to try to lose some weight, I bought a special bike saddle that was supposed to alleviate the problem. It helped, in that I was able to ride longer before the numbness set in, but it still happened if I rode longer than just a few minutes. The manufacturer said they don’t recommend it for anyone over 250 pounds. Maybe I should’ve gone with The Spongy Wonder.

So it looks like I’m going to have to concentrate on diet for a while, while I work on rehabbing my feet. Thanks for the advice, cron and Lesalu.

I’m at 278 pounds today.

A London newspaper compares two women–one a size 0, and the other a size 18.  Everything else being equal, if those were the only two options, I think I’d prefer the size 18.  The size 0 looks anorexic to me-check out her ribs.

Think that “certified organic” food at Wal-Mart is any better and healthier than the regular brands? Read this article and think again. Unless you raise it yourself, or buy it from a local farmer, there’s no telling what you’re getting when you buy “organic”. Especially when more and more of our “organic” food is coming from China, where strict standards and controls are impossible to enforce. The concept of organic has been so diluted that it’s practically meaningless. But originally it meant not only using all natural, pesticide free growing methods, but included the idea of buying locally raised products. That kind of organic food is worth paying more for, but paying extra for national brands of “organic” food is probably just throwing money away.