No More Mr. Fat Guy!

This lady knows how I feel after I leave Golden Corral:

A 39-year-old Los Angeles area woman went to an emergency room with a stomach ache and ended up with a baby.

Hospital officials said April Barnum didn’t know she was pregnant when she came to an emergency room near her home this week, but gave birth to a full-term, 7-pound, 7-ounce boy by C-section.

The 420-pound woman said her size kept her and others from realizing she was carrying the baby.

It seems like the furor has finally died down over the death of Anna Nicole Smith. I think it says a lot about our society, none of it good, that the death of a pathetic figure such as her could become such a national obsession. I’d never paid much attention to her, but I knew who she was–who didn’t? I think I’d seen one episode of the horrible train wreck that was her reality show, and I was appalled and embarrassed for her. And I know that she had ballooned up and was quite obese for several years, and had lost a bunch recently. And there’s no denying that she looked really good for the last couple years. But while she might have looked good, it’s obvious she wasn’t doing too well.  It’s just a sad, sad situation. For me, if there are any lessons in this, it’s that losing weight is not the cure all for a jacked up life. It’s necessary, and it’s a good place to start and focus on. But, like Anna Nicole Smith, many people who are severely overweight have other serious issues that need addressing also. It’s important to get in shape, but if we think that losing a bunch of weight is going to fix everything that’s wrong with us, we’re probably going to be severely disappointed.

Randy Salas of the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune wrote an article in Wednesday’s issue about people who are documenting their weight loss online, and he included me in the article. You can read it here. He wrote some really nice things about me. Thanks for the kind words, Randy!

Minnesota-the home of America’s finest humorist, Garrison Keillor. I’ve always loved his radio program. In fact, I’m thinking of one day starting a national chain of upscale toupee stores, and I’ve narrowed down the names I might choose to Follicle Barn, Just For Scalps, and A Prairie Dome Companion. (Garrison, if you’re reading this, contact me to discuss a possible endorsement deal!)

Anyway, I’m glad you’re all here. I once spent a month in Rochester, Minnesota, and I thought it was a lovely town. I’ve never been to the Twin Cities, but I grew up with a huge crush on Mary Richards.

And a few years ago I rented the movie Fargo, which was set in Minnesota. Frankly, I didn’t like the movie all that much. But Fargo kind of reminds me of Faygo, which I love, especially their famous Red Pop.

So a big welcome to all the folks from the land of Lake Wobegon from me here at Lake Bellybegone! And if you want to keep up with my progress, be sure and join my email list on the left.

Well, I’ve gone and done it. I told my story to Steve Doyle of the Huntsville Times the other day. He writes a lot about health issues, and has focused on the rising number of overweight Alabamians, especially children. Steve’s a good guy, and I had a lot of fun doing the interview. (And he mentioned my pop bottle logo, which is not up right now.  But it was at the time, and I may bring it back.)  Plus, I spent about an hour getting my photo taken and selecting the best ones. Now I know how Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen feel! And the photographer was a lot of fun, too. That guy knows a million jokes!  He’s got a cool name-Dave Dieter, so we have a lot in common. Except that it’s actually pronounced Deeter, not Diet-er. I’m the diet-er.

They told me that the story would probably run today or tomorrow, and I picked up this morning’s paper thinking it might be on page 3 of the Living section. Boy, was I in for a shock.

It was on the front page.  Of Section A.  In living color.

I wasn’t expecting the front page.

But now I have no choice-I’ve GOT to lose the 100 pounds.

Which is great. That’s why I started the website, and that’s why I did the interview. To have the world watching. The more people viewing the site, the more pressure I feel to not let them down. So thanks, Steve and Dave, and the Huntsville Times!

You can read the article here. Welcome, HT readers!

If you’d like to stay abreast of my efforts, a friend set up an email list for me. Once a week I’ll be sending out updates, notices of new posts, and some stuff I don’t put up on the website. There’s an option to subscribe to the list on the left of this page, near the top. Just click on Join My List.

And here’s an audio interview I did with a website called Natural Health Co-op, where I talk about my weight, how I got to be this big, and what I’m going to do about it.

(And Kate and Gisele, if you’re reading this, and I’m pretty sure you are since I was on the front page-if you ever get burned out by the pressures of modeling, and you just need to talk, I’m here for you. I’ve been there, and I know what you’re going through. Call me. Anytime. Collect, if you want.  Do you like barbecue ribs?)